lead me.

A few weeks ago, Sawyer sent me this song {Lead Me, by Sanctus Real}, I honestly had no idea how it would effect me prior to listening to it. I really didn’t expect it to draw the emotional response that it did. Every once in a while you hear the lyrics to a song, and it draws you back into a moment where God changed everything, he changed the people, he changed the environment, he changed rules, heck, he even changed the court the game was played on. You wake up one morning + everything is different. Sometimes its for the better, sometimes it seems like the change is a looming axe waiting to strike. Sometimes, you really have no idea what exactly changed – but you can feel it. The lines “Lead me with strong hands, Stand up when I can’t” + “Show me you’re willing to fight, That I’m still the love of your life” drew me back to the struggles that our relationship + lives faced this past fall, prior to our engagement, I faced some giants that I really did not think I could fight. And he didn’t run. He fought for me. He helped me fight a battle that I really struggled to fight. He fought for me, when anyone else wound have high-tailed it + left me to collaspe under the weight of it all. He fought for me when I couldn’t do it alone.

After listening to this song on replay for over an hour, I came to the conclusion that this song embodies our relationship. Not that we are/or were in a state that we wanted/felt the desire to give up. But that our relationship is I triad of support – leading + giving emotional, physical + spiritual support to each other + leaning on + clinging to what comes from out Lord and Father.

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying…

Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying…

Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone.

Lead Me. Sanctus Real.