children. the best form of birth control.

Now, I love kids. I LOVE kids. I would seriously nanny full time if I could get away with it financially. kids.are.great. Especially toddlers – except trying to work with ones that are working on potty training – that’s a task, I am scared out of my wits for. Going to the park with them may be crazy, but teaching them to pump their legs when swinging, racing them on their scooters + trikes, or splashing in the kiddy pools relieves so many great memories of childhood. Babies are such a gift, I could sit and hold them, or rock them for hours on end. Being an active part of a kids life is so rewarding. Felling like you have taken part into mold them who they will be, is one of the greatest feelings ever – well besides holding a sleeping baby.

Am I baby crazy? Yes. Do I want my own right now? No. A friend + I were chatting yesterday about kids + our dreams.  And how we both want to take a few years + just be married, before throwing a time sucking, sleep depriving, vomiting, little angel into the mix. I am such a horrible person for making fun of those that get married + knocked up early on – but deep down I fell that karma might bite me in the arse (again) and I will totally fall out of that same boat. However, I really hope not.

Kids are so fun, I love working with + around them practically every day. Its great, you play, you help teach them about life, you wipe their tears, calm their fears about not getting their PB+J sandwich if x.y.z. happens – and then, you give them back to their parents, go home + ponder about life if you had your own. And man, imagination can go wild. My mother always joked about how karma would get me + my kids will be just as crazy, outgoing + and accident prone child as I was. *massive prayers that my kids will be a 9 yr old painting prodigy, or some other amazingly talented person, like their father*

Kids are amazing. They are so carefree + loving. The problem, they are incredibly observant + learn quickly. Which is why, some kids are a walking, nay screaming, advertisement for why some people should abstain from ever procreating entirely. Think of how the world would be if people had to pass a parenting exam to be allowed to procreate. This world would have a lot less problems. I mean, you have to pass a background check, a UA, + sometimes a psych eval to get a job – that you get paid to do. Why can’t they instigate something of such to be able to embark on the journey of parenthood? Just think: Dumpster dumping? Never. Abuse? Gone. Drug addicted infants? Unheard of. Abortion? Wouldn’t need it. It’s such a huge responsibility that sooooooo many people don’t even think about when they get wrapped up in all the passion/craziness of the moment.

No matter how cute, innocent, + adorable a child may be, they will have a temper. And by temper I mean uncontrollable, inconsolable rage. Now that is just not cute. I was thinking the other night while I was killing myself by working a graveyard shift about the, bad apples of children, you know, those ones that will never stop moving for 12 seconds, or purposely destroy things… yep those ones, the ones that make you want to rip your hair out. I had a few examples come to mind… (names have been removed for confidentiality) Little man at 18months + waking up at 4am and adamant that you’re not going back to sleep – really isn’t cute anymore. Girls, your the cutest kids ever, but if either of you touch another plastic bag when your sister is in the room I am calling DCFS. Three, dang, you can be the cutest little kids sometimes, but throwing toys repeatedly at an non-mobile infant is not acceptable. 2.5, I <3 you to death, but “dinosauuuuuuur train” is not the only thing to live for. As a your 2yr old, cute as a button, but screaming the F-bomb is not a way to get what you want… nor is biting…

Well, nap time is over. I better get back to the terrors… I mean angels. (: