Apr 11 2006

Nothing Left

Sometimes, when I, Look into the mirror.
I cry, oh God, I wish you were here tonight
And I pray, I say, where are you now?
Oh, I wish I could find out.

In the midst of all this, earthly noise,
I cry out just to hear your, loving voice.
And all I can do, is just to worship you.
Bringing it, all to you, my king.

Everything, this is my offering, its yours.

And When I had nothing to left to lose,
No one else to chose,
Nothing I could do, nothing else,
Only to run straight to you.

You, You looked into my heart and you said,
My dear child, this is where
It has to start?

Longing just to get it right,
Seeking not, only your hand, tonight.
Wanting to, see your face,
To have the, feeling of your grace.

And all I can do, is just to worship you.
Bringing it, all to you, my king.

Everything, this is my offering, its yours.

And When I had nothing to left to lose,
No one else to chose,
Nothing I could do, nothing else,
Only to, keep running, straight to you.

And all I can do, is just to worship you.
Bringing it, all to you, my king.

Everything, this is my offering, is yours. Eternally yours

And when I opened up these tear stained eyes,
I turned to see you standing there,
Forever by my side.

And all I can do, is just to worship you.
Bringing it, all to you, my king.

Everything, this is my offering, is yours. Eternally yours

When I had nothing to left to lose,
No one else to chose,
Nothing I could do, nothing else,
But to run straight to you.

Only to run straight to you?
I’ll keep running straight to you?
-Kate Kiehn April 2006

This song started out as a haiku, a lullaby, a prayer. As it got longer I began to lamefully attempt to rhyme, to mark wonder. Its not much, but it’s all I have, its the bearings on my heart


Apr 8 2006

time to breathe?

You ever have those days where you have like a million things to do, and for some reason your hands and mind don’t seem to ever be connected? Today was one of those days. At work, Caribou Coffee, I had two lattes, and a scalding green tea decide to go kamikaze and committed suicide all down the front of me. Now I have a pile of homework seriously a mile high, way too many things to do before Wednesday:

– Moral Analysis for Philosophy
– Project for Computer Science
– Test in Computer Science
– Test in French
– Annotated Bibliography for Creative Writing
– Pacifism Essay for Creative Writing

And all I can think of is just having “me” time… Relaxing down with a movie… Spend a few hours not thinking about homework, school… And it is the last thing I have time to do.

I just have way too many things on my mind right now… so I am going to press the mental defrag button and watch Pride and Prejudice….


Apr 5 2006

Rage against the machine

Man versus man.
Man versus nature.
Man versus himself.
Man versus machine.

These are the four victorian conflicts. In the last 20 hours I have gone through two of these. It seems as though it takes a conflict to get me to start writing thoughtful post on here. First off, Man versus machine. Last night the conflict was between me, a rough computer science assignment, and a DNS server that decided that it wanted to play games with my sanity.With in this conflict, arises a subconflict, Man versus himself. This was s conflict that pressed me to the edge of whether to give up or to persevere through the night. A conflict that drove me to tears and muttering profanities under my breath at the mass confusion. Sitting on the phone at 2am trying to describe one of many compilation errors, without being able to show the actual code that was causing the issues. My body physically lagging and the worry actually making me sick to my stomach. Four o’clock rolls around and still no connection, cognitive capacity decreasing faster and faster and the presence of physical exhaustion is becoming visibly noticeable. Attempting to defeat ones physical desire and need for rest; finally my body crashed around 5:30, only to awaken to the sound of “5,025,600 minutes…”, two hours later.

Again, the machine comes in to play, as I so eagerly meander out of bed, I begin to unlock my computer, soon to find that the internet is still down across campus. Knowing that there was nothing I could do until the internet is back up I wearily climb back into my bed; the sheets already cold from the absence of my body for only moments. Crawling back under the covers I utter many desperate prayers, stated plainly as “God, please let it work, please!” Closing my eyes I drift of, instantaneously, my dreary mind praying vigorously for r.e.m..

I, awake to the sound of MSN signing me in at 8:10. Finally the internet is back up and running. Thrusting myself out of bed I rush to my computer, unknowing if it was a steady stream of connection, or if the server would play hide-and-seek again. Working as fast as I can to knowledgeably, and correctly finish my assignment, yet proceeding with caution on the temperamental connection.

10:50. Assignment completed. All methods wrote, all variables declared, javadoc’d, jar’d, emailed, printed, done.

All thanks to the amazing intelligent insightful hero, who not only stayed up half of the night to attempt to get me to relax, and comprehend what needed to be done, and finally to go to bed. But also got up early as well, to make sure I understood what the program was supposed to look like. Wow. I am so lucky *grin*

It is now 3:50. After 3 classes, 2 large mugs of coffee, nearly 8 hours of running off of 2 hours of sleep…. now, now it is naptime..


Apr 4 2006

tomorrow

Tomorrow at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time
and date will be 01:02:03 04 - 05 - 06.

That won't happen for another century.

You may now return to your (normal) life.